im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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