She is in my trunk
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
