a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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