Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
