So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
