I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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