where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
