Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
