i don't like sucking hair
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
