just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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