Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
