i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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