Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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