Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
