nut hugger
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i now understand why vodka
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
