Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize