I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
