That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
