508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
