yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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