just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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