You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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