they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
These tits shall not be calmed
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
