i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
