Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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