kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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