just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
