I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize