I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize