I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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