we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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