I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
