I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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