I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
