We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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