The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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