There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
