dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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