i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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