He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
