First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
