I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize