i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
