words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
