no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
