Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Buhtt sex?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
