Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize