Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
is wine microwaveable?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
