If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
