We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
