We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
