You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
