I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
