i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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