Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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