I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
and you fell through a lawn chair
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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