it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
