Please, let me fuck your mom
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
