He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
