its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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